As a writer, I refuse to engage with anguish for very long periods at a time, and if I can pull it off, rarely. Never would be great, but I’m human. I had about six weeks this spring where I just didn’t want to write anything–see me stomping a foot on the ground with my bottom lip stuck out and whining, “I will not write.” But I wasn’t anguished over it. It felt great to be peevish and selfish and bratty. Honest. Yet, earlier in the year, I did feel some anguish. I felt like I might meet a deadline, and was almost ill over it. In 2006, when I thought I’d miss a deadline for writing, I cried. It’s painful sometimes to anguish over writing. I wish I had a reliable genius, but she’s flaky.
My disembodied genius sometimes shows up, and I find fabulous things to say, and sometimes, not so much. Elizabeth Gilbert’s concept of genius does, indeed, sync with my sense of human flourishing (eudaimonia) (Ken Robinson mentions human flourishing in his second talk), so I’m at peace with this concept of there being something greater than me that infuses my performance, sometimes. Only sometimes. I like to think I have something to do with it: stubborn, dogged, vicious, sometimes ugly persistence.
So my anguish over writing, well, it just doesn’t really happen to the point of stopping me from trying. Like Sir Ken Robinson says when talking about schools killing creativity, if we’re afraid of having a go–what happens to us? Nothing. That’s what happens.
Anguish and nothing, or eschew anguish and possibility?
Oh, the latter is so much better for me. And once in a great while, my genius brings it, and sometimes, my genius is lame. But why should I let suffering hamper my creative life if I want to be creative? I do want to live a creative life, so I’m not daunted, I’m not afraid, and I just keep showing up to do my job, to do my dance.
As a teacher, this is more important to me than any methods I’ve learned for teaching, any educational psychology I might have studied, anyTHING. I have to show up and do my dance, so that my students can learn how to do the dances they need to do.
Part of my dance is ensuring my students aren’t comfortable (sorry), that the class is wildly creative and oddly structured (sorry), that everyone writes a ton (sorry), and that no assignment is strictly controlled so that everyone has a chance to do their dance (not sorry for that). I sort of believe if I push and push and throw out crazy connections and engender “aha” moments, then students can do their jobs, which might make their geniuses show up more frequently. That’s a good theory–the more we show up to work, the more our geniuses feel like coming to party.
Don’t you think geniuses want love, too?
The part I play in the learning revolution is that I want thinking from my students, not just work. I want the brilliance of every student to be revealed through the writing they do, through the creative process, through the connections they make, through the thinking they do individually and collaboratively.
So, is this class innovative learning? Is this a hard class? You’ll be able to decide, not me. I always have fun and learn a lot–I’m not a good judge. What I do know is I sure think innovation is hard–and it’s scary for me and for you. It’s not normal, and it can be a hit or a miss–mostly that depends on what happens AFTER I do my dance.
Mostly, what you get from your education is about you–and you eschewing anguish. One of the reasons I like Sir Ken talking about linearity and how that doesn’t work so well for education is that he understands fast food education is not healthy if over done, but haute cuisine, the chef’s special, the meal made from the best ingredients from the field that day–that can change how your body works, how you feel, even how long you live. Of course, the body is a metaphor for our learning, our brains, but it’s a strong metaphor, more elaborately linked than many metaphors might be: mind, body, spirit kind of linkage.
In his talk, “Bring on the Learning Revolution,” Sir Ken quotes Abraham Lincoln and W.B. Yeats, too. I’m including the whole bit from Lincoln (a short intro, and the part Sir Ken quotes is in bold) and then the poem from Yeats, follows:
Washington, D.C., December 1, 1862
One month before signing the Emancipation Proclamation, President Lincoln sent a long message to Congress which was largely routine, but also proposed controversial measures such as voluntary colonization of slaves and compensated emancipation.
Lincoln devoted so much attention to preparing the message that his friend David Davis said, “Mr. Lincoln’s whole soul is absorbed in his plan of remunerative emancipation.” The concluding paragraphs shown below demonstrate Lincoln’s passion for this plan and contain some of the most famous statements he ever wrote.
I do not forget the gravity which should characterize a paper addressed to the Congress of the nation by the Chief Magistrate of the nation. Nor do I forget that some of you are my seniors, nor that many of you have more experience than I, in the conduct of public affairs. Yet I trust that in view of the great responsibility resting upon me, you will perceive no want of respect yourselves, in any undue earnestness I may seem to display.
Is it doubted, then, that the plan I propose, if adopted, would shorten the war, and thus lessen its expenditure of money and of blood? Is it doubted that it would restore the national authority and national prosperity, and perpetuate both indefinitely? Is it doubted that we here–Congress and Executive–can secure its adoption? Will not the good people respond to a united, and earnest appeal from us? Can we, can they, by any other means, so certainly, or so speedily, assure these vital objects? We can succeed only by concert. It is not “can any of us imagine better?” but, “can we all do better?” The dogmas of the quiet past, are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise–with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew, and act anew. We must disenthrall ourselves, and then we shall save our country.
Fellow-citizens, we cannot escape history. We of this Congress and this administration, will be remembered in spite of ourselves. No personal significance, or insignificance, can spare one or another of us. The fiery trial through which we pass, will light us down, in honor or dishonor, to the latest generation. We say we are for the Union. The world will not forget that we say this. We know how to save the Union. The world knows we do know how to save it. We–even we here–hold the power, and bear the responsibility. In giving freedom to the slave, we assure freedom to the free–honorable alike in what we give, and what we preserve. We shall nobly save, or meanly lose, the last best hope of earth. Other means may succeed; this could not fail. The way is plain, peaceful, generous, just–a way which, if followed, the world will forever applaud, and God must forever bless.
At the end of the talk, Sir Ken quotes W.B. Yeats–a poem he wrote for Maud Gonne:
“Cloths of Heaven“
by William Butler Yeats
Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
It is perhaps the juxtaposition of these two texts that so moves me (and which I’ve taught together before), that so resonates with what I think I’m doing in the classroom–what I want to believe I’m doing–securing openings through which we all may pass to find what we need beyond one single moment. Both these quotes are worth remembering when we are frightened of the demands made upon us as humans, as teachers, as students. No fear.
May we always think anew, act anew, rise with the occasion, as we need to, and may we always tread softly on each others’ dreams, eschewing anguish all along the way.
May each of us flourish as humans–whatever it takes, whatever that means, for each of us.